English | Zambian

My mum is English, and my Dad is Zambian. Music was our family’s language. I learnt so much about Zambia from the music my Dad would play in car journeys. Also, beyond Zambia I found my first deep connection with Black culture through the music he would introduce me to growing up. Similarly, with my mum, through her choice in music I got a real sense of British culture. Predominantly I have experienced personal challenges caused by internal, fundamental questions of identity. I identify as a Black woman because one, that feels to be instinctively who I am and two, that is how I have and will always be treated and seen as by the world. In doing so though, I must be very careful not to deny half of myself nor half of my family. It’s a very fine balance to master especially when you begin to consider the history and current disparities and tensions between Black and White people. It can all get very confusing and cause varying degrees of identity crisis. I feel I am getting closer to becoming completely comfortable in my own identity. I have found the key is to understand and accept yourself for every part of who you are and to be brutally honest and open about all that has come before you regarding race relations. Growing up in a household with two completely different cultures has opened my whole world up. When it comes to my personal life it has also opened my heart to all cultures, races and types of love. Knowing the prejudice and difficulties my parents had to overcome to marry, I have always had an understanding that real love is worth fighting for and often you will be forced to. I think the world is changing rapidly, acceptance of mixed-race relationships has improved dramatically. The world has opened up so much and I believe if you have a deep connection, acceptance and understanding of both of your cultures, being mixed-race can be a beautiful experience. If I had the opportunity to be reborn I’d want to return exactly as I am with perhaps a bit more wisdom, so I could get to a stage of mental freedom earlier. If I could be rebooted with fluent Bemba that would be awesome too!

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