Jamaican | South Korean
I identify as mixed-race, Atheist & straight. My mother is from South Korea and my father is Jamaican. I recognised I was mixed-race from as early as I can remember (around 5 or 6). I grew up in South London with my Jamaican family. My parents split when I was born, and my mother returned pretty much immediately to South Korea. I only saw her every 10 years. I am not always accepted as being Black/Jamaican or able to understand a Black experience. Quite often Caribbean’s can only see how Korean I am, and Koreans can only see how Black I appear to them: stuck in a halfway house between wanted to deeply belong to two different communities. The Korean community can often be quite xenophobic, and I remember being told of mixed-race Korean children being called ‘Jampong’ (spicy mixed-up noodle soup). Particular traits get chopped up and attributed to being Korean or Jamaican, such as being athletic, loving maths, loud, down the line, common ongoing stereotypes. I found myself thinking of half my qualities as Korean and half as Jamaican. One of the most positive experiences about being mixed-race is meeting other mixed-race people and instantly having so many aligning feelings and fears, regardless of our mix. One negative experience is people often attributing your success in any given thing back to your race, not hard work. It is somehow less impressive because ‘yeah, but you’re half...obviously you’re going to be...xyz’. I currently work in the fitness industry and my athleticism has often been awarded to ‘Black people are always in better shape’ or ‘you’ve just good genes’. No amount of ‘good genes’ can account for hard work, dedication and motivation. I hate the feeling that people look at me and even for a second allow themselves to think I was gifted what I have worked so hard for. If I had the opportunity to be reincarnated I would want to return as myself. I stopped wanting to be like other people a long time ago when I realised I am lucky to occupy my space, my mix and my experience so distinctively from other people’s experience.
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