Punjabi | Nepali
I identify as half Punjabi & half Nepali. I am a British Asian. My Mother is from a small place in the Indian Himalayas called Sikkim, nestled between Darjeeling, Nepal, Bhutan and Tibet. My Dad is Indian. Our ancestral home in Punjab is in Pakistan now, so most of my paternal family live in New Delhi. It was actually Indian and Pakistani kids at school who would point out I was mixed-race. They would ask why my mum looked so different, if she was Chinese, what language did I speak at home. I went to SOAS when I was 19 and decided to learn more about my Mum and where she was from. Since then I’ve firmly identified as half-Nepali. I often feel like I don’t fit anywhere. I’m not Indian enough to be Indian. I’m not Nepali enough to be Nepali. It was very difficult when I was little because I never really fit in with anyone. No one could tell where my Mum was from. Asian kids would find me in the playground and ask about my parents. I remember some of them basically deciding I wasn’t Desi enough. That hurt. Now I feel lucky because I’ve grown up in a multicultural household with parents who set the blueprint for intercultural relationships (and, to be honest with you, relationships full stop). To connect with my cultures I look to stories, religion and food. We do Diwali every year and would always do the story at home, lighting the candles for Lakshmi. We did more Hindu things when I was young, but when I went to university I found Buddhism. I was going through a period of serious depression and exploring my Mum’s culture felt comforting and useful. I connected deeply with the teachings and practice. I’ve been a Buddhist since then, even going to see the Dalai Lama teach in India. The two cultures I grew up with express themselves most clearly at dinner time. We would eat traditional food most evenings. My Mum learned how to make Punjabi food for my Dad and she is the most incredible cook. She rarely makes Nepali food but when she does she makes momos in soup. My favourite meal. When we ate traditional food, we would always eat with our hands or a spoon.
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