English | English/Malaysian/Hong Kong Chinese
My Mum is English and my Father is mixed English, Malaysian and Hong Kong Chinese. They met at a party in south London, which is where I was born. My parents always celebrated Chinese New Year with us, having a big feast, reading the new year story, and going to China town to watch the parade. However as my Father’s been out of the picture for most of my life it was mostly up to my Mum to keep my connection to my Chinese heritage alive, which she’s always maintained a commitment to doing. My Mum took my father’s Chinese surname and has experienced some discrimination from that despite being a White woman, and whilst her experiences are valid we’ve definitely clashed over the nuances of this issue. Whilst I fully acknowledge my White passing privilege, which I have benefited from, I think there’s the view that mixed people can’t suffer marginalisation, which is completely untrue. Some of the biggest challenges I’ve experienced around my mixed identity has been the fetishisation, being tokenised in educational institutions, and then consequently struggling to see myself as a whole person and separate my sense of self from my cultural identity (which I’ve come to realise is neither possible nor necessarily aspirational). Additionally, there’s a lot of expectations on people and particularly women with Asian heritage to be petite, academic, quiet, and submissive, which I definitely internalised for a while. I visited mainland China once for a month with my Mum and brother and went to all the main tourist spots like Beijing, Shanghai and Xian, but it was in the rural areas and mountains that I felt most at peace and strangely at home. I haven’t been to Hong Kong or Malaysia but I’d love to visit in the future. If I were to be born again, I wouldn’t change anything. Being mixed has given me a unique perspective on the world and influenced my compassion towards people no matter where they are from.
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