Indian | Jamaican
In collaboration with Loughborough University
My Mum was born in Uganda, she came to the UK when she was 6 years old when Idi Amin ordered Asians living in Uganda to leave the country. My Dad was born in the UK. My Mum is Indian and my Dad is Jamaican.
My parents' relationship caused separation among my Mum's family. For many cultures, dating 'outside of' your own race and religion is frowned upon. With certain cultures, it results in hostile relationships and eventually a breakdown of those relationships. I found it also comes with assumptions about an entire group of people, which can be incorrect or inflated. Pre-teenager, I saw a lot of my Mum's family but the older I got, the more I overheard, or understood about how I was seen as different as I am half Black. From then onwards, I distanced myself.
A big thing I didn't realise is when I speak about myself, I refer to myself as a Black girl, rather than dual heritage. When I mentioned that I was Indian to a colleague I had worked with for 2 years, she was really interested and asked me to clarify because I had always referred to myself as Black.
In 2022, I visited India for the first time. One question I was frequently asked, which I am aware was asked from a kind place, was whether I liked Indian food. The first two times I responded by explaining yes, I am half Indian and had conversations about my heritage. As this happened so frequently, I stopped explaining and just nodded. It became exhausting to repeatedly address the assumption that I couldn't possibly be Indian (this is how it felt to me). This made me realise two things, throughout my life I had potentially misled people about my culture (unintentionally), by referring to myself as a Black girl. I also found it frustrating when people assumed I wasn't of mixed heritage, although that's never how I describe myself. This was an eye-opening experience and taught me something about how I view myself, and how others see me.
I advise you to embrace all elements of your culture even if there are separations within your family. Those separations shouldn't stop you from understanding who you truly are, but equally, don't feel forced to put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable.
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