Irish | Hong Kong Chinese
My Dad travelled the world when he was young, and that's how he met my Mum. Once they got married, Mum then moved to the other side of the world, to a country she had never even visited before, to start a family - when I think of that decision she made 30-odd years ago, it feels so alien to me! I don't know if I'd be able to take that risk, to leave my friends and family behind.
I watched Revolution of our Times recently, which is a documentary about the protests in Hong Kong. There is a song 'Glory to Hong Kong' that is played during the credits. I recognised it, as I have heard my mum sing this around the family home - often full of sadness, grieving for her home. The love she has for Hong Kong has passed down to me, and although I've only visited a few times, I feel that I'm losing a home too.
When I was younger, I carried lots of internalised racism, I had a stereotype of what a Chinese girl should look like, behave and sound like - I then questioned my own Asian-ness based on that stereotype. I thought that I was a 'bad Asian' for not being petite and slim. I realise now that there is no right way to be Asian - and that stereotype I'd built up might have been due to a lack of East and Southeast Asian people in the area.
Dating is a minefield, there are far too many people with Asian fetishes who expect you to fit this quiet and submissive image they've created in their minds. Not to mention the backhanded compliments! I now find calling out racism a lot easier, to make up for carrying around the burden of those negative exchanges for so long.
I don't know if it's age-related but I've grown more confident in who I am as the years pass. I love seeing more Asian representation in the media, including mixed-race individuals Emma Raducanu and Naomi Osaka. I don't have a role model - I try to surround myself with people who are brilliant and inspire me. I'm incredibly grateful to have been able to connect with my own heritage through the @esea.sisters community; the group has changed my life. The support, validation and joy is something I don't want to ever be without again.
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