Irish | Indian

As a gay male, I've tackled with both hiding my sexuality and my ethnicity. I apply the same logic to both, if someone asks I'll tell them. I'm worried about being the elephant in the room, whilst I don't want to deviate from the norm, being gay in a heterosexual society is hard enough, I don't want to give people another reason to not understand me.

Growing up, I was always much closer to the Indian side of my family. My Grandparents were a vital part of my upbringing and for them Diwali and Jain festivals were culturally very important. We celebrated Christmas with all the trimmings, but Boxing Day was a turkey curry, that sums up my upbringing. In general, we used to visit India every two years until I was doing exams as a kid. Gujarati is very much my Mum's second language, we always spoke English at home and unfortunately I never learned Gujarati. As my Grandparents have gotten older, they slip into speaking Gujarati more regularly, but their grasp of English is definitely better than mine!

I've never felt connected to India, I don't look Indian and I don't speak the language. I think people hold me in high regard there as I'm fair skinned and have European features, I don't think that'll change any time soon.

I've always felt like I've never fitted in at predominantly Indian events, I'm noticeably ethnically ambiguous, whilst I understand and appreciate my Indian culture, I've always felt British, I've been referred to as White passing numerous times in my life and I really feel like this detracts from the experience I had growing up between cultures but never fully being one. As I've gotten older, I've realised very few people understand this and always feel an affinity to other mixed-race people.

Yes, I'm proud of being half Indian. I love the fact I grew up surrounded by incredible cuisine and a different culture. As a child I hated being different to my friends, as an adult I sometimes love the fact it sets me apart. Aside from Leo Varadkhar I can't name a single famous Irish Indian! Whether it's at Diwali or otherwise, I think keeping close to the cultural/food aspects of Indian culture is key.