Italian | Colombian
The lack of structure during the pandemic has really affected me. It was very difficult to schedule meals, exercise, painting, anything. All of a sudden my bedroom became the place where I was working, creating and sleeping. I tried to keep a journal but it did not go well. I did what I do best; think and paint. I started working on a collection about belonging in order to understand where I come from and the places that I felt I belonged to, so that I could feel a connection to those places, despite being in my own bedroom, while painting I was not there anymore. I was by the sea, in Colombia, in Soho, walking at night around London.
My sense of self often felt shattered, misunderstood, confusing. But the moment I embraced who I am, accepted myself and understood where I come from, I was able to free myself from any prejudice and unworthiness. I understood that because of moving so much, I adapt to everything very quickly. I'm not afraid to do things that others might find challenging and I'm not afraid to fail at all. I am made of so many different things, parts, cultures and that I don't have to be one thing.
I had to hide my anxiety and eating disorder constantly because of the stigma until I said ‘no more, I accept myself, I love myself and this is my journey. I don't need anyone's approval. In terms of being half Italian/half Colombian I never hid it because since I was a child my Mother taught me to be proud of where I come from and despite all the bullying, I never hid it.
My Mother had it very tough. In Italy people were very racist and said/did awful things to my Mother. Back in Colombia, my Grandfather was Black and my Grandmother was not, my Mother told me that it was very hard for them and for people to accept that they were a couple. When it comes to me, I often felt I was a fetish rather than a human being. Men often told me that I am the kind of girl they look for when watching porn, the exotic type (I hate that world). However, I still think that I am having way less problems than the ones my Mother or Grandfather had, still, there are a lot of challenges for interracial couples.
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@inteseartalessia
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