American | Filipino

Photo credit: provided by subject

I identify myself as Hapa or Eurasian; half Filipino and half English/Scottish/Norwegian. My Mom was born and raised in a coastal town in the Philippines called Gumaca. My Dad was born in Florida and moved from the East Coast to the West Coast of the States. I was told my parents met through mutual friends while living in their home countries. They began by writing and sending letters overseas to each other. My Dad was in the U.S. Navy and was stationed in Okinawa. They continued to write each other letters and go on dates in Japan, the Philippines, and around Asia until they got married in California. Almost sounds like it could be a movie script.

Growing up, my parents tried their best to incorporate both American and Filipino cultures. Naturally, growing up in California, I was already immersed in American culture. However, my Mom was the one who mostly raised my brothers and I. This meant I grew up eating Filipino food, hearing Tagalog in the household (although never taught how to speak), talking to relatives I have not met before on the phone, and being raised as if I was back in the Philippines. There were times my Dad didn’t understand certain things with the Filipino culture, from sending back a bunch of normal everyday items from Costco to relatives in a Balikbayan box, to taking your shoes off before entering the house, but he adjusted to these things. Since Filipino culture is big on families, my Mom would always schedule family get togethers, with both sides. I always found it interesting with my Filipino cousins, my brothers and I having our shoes off, and my White cousins keeping their shoes on in the house. On a separate note, it was interesting going around with my Mom as a little kid. As I looked more White than Asian, my Mom was often mistaken as the nanny. I do want to mention I have the deepest respect and admiration for my Mom, leaving the comforts of her own country and family to start her own in a foreign place she’s never been before.

I think it’s more acceptable being in an interracial relationship nowadays, depending on your geographical location of course. I think with the advancement of technology; the world has become a lot smaller and people are becoming more open and understanding of different cultures.

I believe my culture does affect the way I choose my partner. As my Mom raised me with Filipino culture, I find myself choosing a partner with similar aspects to that culture. I am attracted to a woman that values family and emphasizes the importance of food, especially food!

My life has been a self-identity struggle that I am just starting to figure out. I’ve always been told, which I’m sure other people of mixed-race have heard before, ‘you’re not [insert race here] enough’. I’ve always had people disregard half of my identity and claim I’m just one thing because I don’t look stereotypical. I find it rude for a person to say you’re not ‘Asian enough’ or you’re not ‘White enough’ simply because you do not fit how they believe that race should look. This is a big challenge I’ve experienced that I don’t believe people who aren’t of mixed-race can empathize with, the daily struggle with self-identity. These are more internal challenges but being racially ambiguous brings on other challenges. Aside from growing up being called slurs like mutt, a memory that sticks is when I was 21, my friends (a Mexican guy and a half Mexican/White guy) and I were at a bar in a predominantly White area in the mountains. We were minding our business, drinking our beers, when we all got jumped from a couple of skinheads. We later found out that one of them was a White Supremacist and was on parole for attempted murder.

So far, I have visited the Philippines 3 times in my life. Each time was a different learning experience than the last. The first time was when I was only 6 and I didn’t comprehend much except that the Philippines is vastly different than the States, and that it was so hot! As a 6-year-old, I was more concerned with playing with my cousins I just met. The next time was when I was 20 and could begin absorbing more of the Filipino culture. The last time was when I was 26, where I was more aware of standing out when all I wanted to do was blend in. On my most two most recent trips, I learned a lot about my Filipino culture, as well as a lot with myself.

As a child, I struggled with being of mixed-race. Majority of the kids around me growing up weren’t mixed-race and I never seemed to fit into any particular group. In primary school, I ended up making friends with 3 other kids who were of mixed-race and that helped me start to develop confidence in my own skin. As an adult, I am beginning to embrace being mixed-race and appreciate having grown up with vastly different cultures. Although, there are still memories that stick, such as my mom telling one of my brothers and I we are not Filipino. As I get older, I can’t rule out that my views won’t change. I imagine that my future experiences could alter my views.

Working in San Francisco, I believe my office is inclusive of not only my own, but other’s culture, gender and sexuality.

If I were born again, I would return just as I am now. I wouldn’t change a thing.