Australian | Indonesian
Photo credit: Alexandra Phillips (http://www.alexandraphillipsphotography.com/)
I identify as mixed-race (half Indonesian and half Australian) and straight. However, with Indonesia being an ex-colony of the Dutch for hundreds of years, I am convinced there is some Dutch blood in the mix as my maternal Grandmother has distinct Eurasian features like myself. However, my family chooses to feign ignorance of this unspoken taboo.
I was born Muslim. My father was Protestant and converted to Islam to marry my mother. My mother was born in Bandung, West Java, and brought up in Bogor, West Java. My father was born in Camden, New South Wales, and brought up in Brisbane, Queensland. They met in 1978 when my father ventured to Indonesia for work. Coincidentally he was my mother's next-door neighbour! My parents initially faced strong disapproval from my mother's side. As a result, my parents resorted to being very discreet in their relationship. My father also had challenges with learning the Indonesian language and everything involved with this foreign culture to him. Finally, my mother's family learned to embrace my father- they love him now! My father's persistence paid off- and the rest is history, as they say!
I think being in an interracial relationship these days versus my parents' generation has changed throughout the years. I feel it is no longer looked upon as taboo or viewed negatively. My parents managed their cultural differences as best as possible- they had many misunderstandings. I empathised with their 'East vs. West' disagreements, but I could and would never take sides. After 40 years, my parents are still together!
Personally, the challenges I face being mixed race do not relate to culture, but more so religion. I was raised moderate Muslim for most of my life, so naturally, I have remained the same. However, as the years passed by, my mother now practiced religion more closely. Therefore, in addition to the general undertones of family and social pressures, I would feel that religious tensions are slightly enhanced. Ultimately, you face the predicament of 'doing the Asian thing' of pleasing your family or detaching yourself by living your life how you see fit, which does not pertain to Asian family values with a strong emphasis on family connection.
Like anything, being mixed-race has its pros and cons. It took me a very long time to accept myself physically when I was young. I always longed to have blonde hair, blue eyes, and a western name that sounded 'normal' just like everybody else. At the beginning of every school year, I remember feeling very anxious about roll-call! I knew teachers would struggle to pronounce my full name, which would then ensue laughter and ridicule from pupils- and it did every time without fail. I spent a few years in Australia living in a few small regional towns, which sadly do not evoke good memories. In 6th grade, I would face racism every day, mainly from boys. They would bully me with racist remarks, squint their eyes, and call me "ching chong," among other cruel derogatory names. I felt growing up simply being me was a curse. In Australia, I never properly fit into an Australian (white) group, and in Indonesia, I never properly fit into an Indonesian group. Overall, I had close friends who accepted me for who I was and who I am today. However, today I can't shake the feeling of being the odd one out after all these years! Luckily, I have not faced direct racism since childhood, but I attribute that to living in multicultural areas within big cities.
Fast forward to now, I love being mixed race. However, being ethnically ambiguous does come with a price- the eternally annoying question, "Where are you from?" Followed by "But where are you REALLY from?" I need my complete background history printed on a placard around my neck or a business card, so I'm not repeatedly explaining my ethnicity! Mostly I don't let this affect me, as you can usually identify when people are interested versus when people are racist.
Growing up, I was fortunate to be raised in Indonesia and Australia. As a result of this upbringing, I am bilingual and genuinely embody what it is to be bicultural. Despite the challenges, I feel very blessed to have been immersed and brought up in both countries- it has molded me into the person I am today. I am very open-minded and embrace new environments and change. I fully immerse myself in different cultures whenever I travel, and I ALWAYS gravitate toward people from other countries and ethnicities.
The outlook on my mixed race has changed since the formative years of my youth. From feeling shame and wanting to be full Caucasian to being proud of my Indonesian roots! I love Indonesian culture, history, food, traditions, stories, and folklore! I view my mixed ethnicity as unique, which will not change! As I get older, I am as comfortable as I can be in my skin. In a time when people are comparing themselves to others, the reality is you cannot change who you are, so you ought to be happy and embrace your unique self.
Mixed race kids - we are amazing!