British/Indian | Dutch/French/Indonesian/Chinese

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My Father is of British nationality (British/Indian origins) and my Mother is of Dutch nationality (Dutch/Indonesian/French/Chinese). They met at work. 

At the age of 26, my Mother moved to London to live with my Father. She already spoke English but had to adapt to the British culture. For example, Dutch people are typically more blunt and honest than the British. At a young age, my Grandparents emigrated from Indonesia to the Netherlands due to the Indonesian Revolution. Therefore, my Mother does not have much connection to her Indonesian culture, e.g. she does not speak Bahasa (Indonesian language). However, my Grandmother has taught my Mother how to cook Indonesian cuisine. Therefore, to combine her Indonesian culture, my Mother regularly cooks Indonesian food for my Father and me. My parents have also visited Indonesia on numerous occasions. 

My Father had to learn the Dutch language in order to communicate with my Mother’s family. Furthermore, my parents regularly went to the Netherlands and visited my Mother’s family. I grew up with the Dutch language and culture (e.g. celebrating Dutch Christmas on 5th December, Sinterklaas). My Father participated in Dutch traditions too. In fact, my Father wanted me to call him ‘Papa’ instead of ‘Dad’, since Dutch children call their Fathers ‘Papa’. Unfortunately, my Dad does not have any connection to his Indian roots. 

Having only dated monoracial people in the past, I have struggled at times to relate to those who are mixed-race. Being third-generational mixed-race, I have had a lot of issues with my identity. My previous boyfriend struggled to relate and therefore I felt alone in my problems. Whilst I hope to look beyond people’s race in future dating, I know that I am more attracted to mixed-race people that can understand the same identity struggles that I have faced.

I have always been very proud of my identity and am open to share my cultures with others. However, since my ancestors have migrated across the world, we are not sure of what our entire background is. For example, a few years ago my Mother told me that I also have Chinese/French blood. Additionally, I do not know my Indian Grandfather’s background so there might be more to my identity than I know. 

I think that we will get to a point when everyone, like me, will be mixed-race. We should embrace interracial relationships, but at the same time identify the identity issues that we face and support mixed-race children.

My parents had little problems being an interracial couple since they had interracial parents, so their families were already accepting. Furthermore, they say that they never really faced issues in society because they lived in London, where all races are mainly accepted.

My Father’s parents had a lot of issues. In Plymouth, where my Father grew up, there were few people of colour. As a result, society did not accept my Grandparent's interracial union and my Father struggled with discrimination from birth.

My Mother’s parents were mixed-race themselves, of Dutch/Indonesian blood. During the Indonesian Revolution, the Dutch and Indonesian fought over the power in Indonesia since it was a Dutch colony at the time. Since my Grandparents were mixed-race, they did not fit into either side. As a result, they had no choice but to migrate to the Netherlands. 

I have been given the opportunity to embrace many cultures. I get to eat Indonesian food, speak Dutch and celebrate British traditions. Furthermore, I feel proud of my ancestors that they were open-minded to new cultures and fought against discrimination. My ancestors have voyaged all across the world. They inspire me to travel the world and expose myself to new cultures.

However, I have struggled with my identity. I look Indian, but have no connection to my Indian roots. On the other hand, I feel very connected to my Indonesian/Dutch side, but do not appear Indo (Indonesian/Dutch). People often struggle to put me into a racial category and therefore I feel left out sometimes. I used to believe that I was divided between each culture. Now I believe that I am 100% of every culture, the same way that a monoracial person is 100% of their ethnicity.

As a child, I regularly went to the Netherlands and spent time with my Grandparents. My Mother’s hometown felt like a second home to me. I have also visited Indonesia twice, but I mainly saw tourist attractions and therefore felt no connection to my Indonesian roots. I would like to visit India in the future. Yes. As a child, I never considered myself as mixed-race. In fact, I did not consider myself as anything. In other words, race was simply a concept that I was unaware of as a child. As I attended secondary school and university, I became increasingly aware of my mixed background. For example, people would ask me where I am from because I do not fit into any racial category. I am proud of my cultures, but I wish that people would look beyond my racial background. When I begin work and meet more people across the world, I think that my outlook will certainly evolve.

I am currently studying Spanish and Japanese at the University of Manchester. Manchester is a racially diverse place and the university has the second highest number of international students in the UK. Furthermore, studying languages means that I am constantly surrounded by people that embrace culture. On my Japanese course, there are many mixed-race people. Therefore, I feel more proud of my mixed background than ever before and I am grateful to be surrounded by open-minded people that want to learn about where I am from, rather than attempt to place me in a racial category.

In terms of gender and sexuality, University of Manchester is very accepting to all. There are numerous societies that encourage the acceptance of all people, such as the LGBT+ society and the Feminist Collective (which I am a member of).

I am a member of LSHO (London School of Hula and Ori'). With LSHO, I have learnt Hula and Ori' for over three years. In the LSHO community, I have met people of all racial backgrounds, some of which are mixed race too. Thanks to this community, I have learnt to embrace my mixed background and embrace other cultures too.

If I were reborn, I would like to return entirely knowing my cultural background. In an ideal world, my Grandparents would have stayed in Indonesia, my Father would have known his Indian roots and my parents would still have met. I have a lot of unanswered questions to who I am, which unfortunately will never be answered. I have also had people claim that I am not really Indian because I am not connected to my roots. Due to my Indian appearance, I have often lost in my identity. I would like to return knowing my roots so that I can know who I really am. 

During the coronavirus pandemic, I have managed my wellbeing through yoga and meditation. Through yoga and meditation, I have found happiness and joy in the little things in life. As a result, I feel very content and stable, which I am grateful for during this situation. I also attend online Hula and Ori’ dance classes with LSHO (London School of Hula and Ori’). They have regular lessons throughout the week, which help me manage my physical health and stay connected with my dance friends.Additionally, I enjoy blogging and have been updating my website. In doing so, I find a sense of control during these unprecedented times.