Italian | Filipino

Photo credit: provided by subject

I classify myself as White other, Catholic & heterosexual. My Mother is from the Philippines and my Father is from Italy. They met in the late seventies, on a night out with friends they went to a club in Leicester square called the Empire, which is now a casino. As my Father puts it, back then you went to Cafe De Paris for some fun, but Empire for the real thing. It still baffles me to this day. 

My Father ran an Italian restaurant in Soho back in the eighties when there was a little Italy around Soho. Food was a major influence on my Dads culture. We always went to see our Nonno & Nonna in the summer. They lived in a small village called Palazzolo, half hour outside Turin which was always a nice summer holiday. Again, fresh food was always on the agenda. I will never forget picking fresh fruit & veg from my Nonno’s allotment. 

One thing I think my parents regret was not teaching me & my brother their mother tongues, they thought at the time English was the only language to speak in the house. I wished I pushed them more to speak to me in their own language.

My Mother always made sure to bring me along to a Filipino doodaa, she called them. It was either the Filipino festival in the summer, or a birthday of a friend’s daughter, or just a gathering of a lot of Filipinos in one place generally it was birthdays. There was always karaoke and more food to feed anyone. You always had to take a doggy bag of leftover food, it was epic every time. Filipino are great at karaoke to be fair. 

A girl’s 18th birthday was always a big deal in Filipino culture. Something to do with turning into an adult. I remember a friend’s daughter's 18th, there was a tradition that 18 people gave a rose to the daughter and danced with her. I remembered being one of those chosen to dance with my friend, I was so embarrassed to give her a rose and dance in front of loads of people. 

I remember going to see my Mum randomly a few years ago and she was making lunch for a random Filipino lady she met at the bus stop. She always had food for anyone that came through her door. Food was definitely a celebration of coming together as family & friends which is something I will always associate with both cultures. I always have a sense of pride wherever there is anything Italian or Filipino associated. 

I think my views are very liberal compared to my parents. They are both from strong Catholic beliefs, which there is nothing wrong with, but very narrow minded sometimes. I will do anything for someone who shows me any kindness.

During my apprenticeship in my late teen years I came around some very narrow-minded individuals who were very ignorant to any form of culture. I guess they were racist to me in that way, so I had to try hard to learn my trade which drove me on more to become better in what I do. We went to Italy often as it was closer than the Philippines. But I will always remember going to the Philippines. My Mother was the second oldest of seven, so she came from a big family.

Even though I was two years old I remember meeting my cousins and playing with them, having a pillow fight and the feathers going everywhere. Having a bath in a big steel tin bucket as it was so hot, as my Aunts and Uncle were poor. But none of that matters as I realised being with family even at that young age was a real blessing. 

As an adult you have to learn and adapt quickly. It’s only in my later years in my thirties I’ve realised how much my parents had an influence on me as a person and who I am today. Only of late, as I am working in the construction industry I was always a very male testosterone bravado environment. You learn quickly how to adapt to people or not. But now it’s better and people have a slightly better understanding of people’s cultures. Also, more females are now getting into the industry helps.

If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would like to be an animal, either a dog or a bird. As a dog you should always have unconditional love and as a bird you can spread your wings and fly anywhere you would want to be.