Pakistani | Thai

Photo credit: provided by Sarawin Kawin

I identify as a person of the world. Growing up in small town of Thailand I had a hard time, I was bullied because I looked different in School. Other kids would always ask questions that I don’t have answer to. I was very conscious about my looks, and the definition of beauty in Thailand was totally opposite of how I look. I even wanted to get surgery to look more Thai. However, as I grow up things started to change. I went to Bangkok for University, people were more open minded there and I started to meet more foreigners, and mixed kids like me. I was finally comfortable with who I am. Then I got a chance to travel the world for 2 years, that’s when I realized how I feel connect to others so easily even people from totally different part of the world. I realized that the bad has turn to good, the feeling that I had growing up that I don’t belong here but I must live here, has changed to I belong everywhere, and I can live anywhere.

I don’t feel like I’m from Thailand, Pakistan, or India. I’m just me. I don’t follow any specific religion, but I like to learn things from them. I like how Buddha suggest a balanced life, how Hindu teaches peace, how forgiving Christianity is, and how discipline Islam is. I’d always want to learn more about other religions.

I’m attracted to both males and females, as I’m a person who’s attracted to another’s beauty.

My Grandparents from my Dad’s side are from Multan in Pakistan, they are beautiful people. My Dad was born in India, and my Mum was born in Thailand. They met in New Delhi where I mum went to college. She went out to a famous market on weekend, and he was chilling there too.

The moment my Granddad from my Mum’s side knew that my Mum had met a guy in India, he brought her back to Thailand. My Dad then saved money and flew to Thailand to ask for her hand. They lived in India for a while, but after I was born they shifted to Thailand. Then my Dad had to learn Thai language. We feel that we are Thai, Indian both, but most of the times my parents would spend time with expat group in our town. My Mum’s best friend is Armenian, my Dad’s best friend is British. It’s a mixed cultural place now, and everyone embrace each other. It’s beautiful.

Interracial relationships for me are normal. In my parents’ generation it was very rare. Since my parents moved to Thailand when I was 3, all our family friends have been people from around the world who moved to retire in this town. So the culture I absorb has been very open. It did affect me to want to choose a partner who has a different experience than me. I want to see and learn more about other cultures.

I can speak many languages, and it’s easy for me to learn new language. Which has become my job, my brother owns a language services company. I do translations, and subtitles. I was working in a giant international company for 2 years, and it was great because I would connect with both Thai and Indian people there, I even introduced my female Thai colleague to our Indian colleague. Sometimes people would think I’m Arabic which earned me so many good friends too. I sometime feel like I’m Arabic. I often get a chance to explain to Thais about other cultures as they are comfortable talking about it with me.

Also, being mixed-race has given me the best of both culture. I like being polite like Thai people, and I like being tough like Indians. I haven’t mentioned Pakistan much as I didn’t get a chance to spend much time with my Grandparents. I remember how amazing my Grandma is, and I know I have a part of her in me.

I think the biggest challenge is telling people where I’m from. I grew up in Thailand, speak Thai and cook Thai food, so I would say I’m from Thailand which leads to long explanation.

Then if I tell people I’m from India, they start asking questions about India which I don’t have answer to. It might seem like a small thing, but it’s crazy! I do meet new people every day so it does get frustrating sometime.

I connect to Thai culture with Thai boxing, I do Thai boxing 3 times a week. I connect with Indian culture with Yoga, which brings peace to my mind. I haven’t visited Pakistan, but I have visited New Delhi, India several times. I want to visit Kashmir and other beautiful places in India.

If I had the opportunity to be reborn I want to return as a bird! I want to fly, free of worries, and danced to mate. But if only human being is the option, I would want to return to the world with less discrimination. More love and respect to each other, and that is what I’d try to do in this life. Spread the love as much as I can, love every soul I encounter and respect all livings.