Iban~Scottish
I am half Iban; the indigenous people of Borneo, specifically the Malaysian state of Sarawak, and half New Zealander (of Scottish heritage). My Mother grew up in Wellington & was in her nursing training when she met my Dad. They married 4 years later. During that time my Father had gone back to Sarawak & was teaching in a school upriver, my Mother would visit him. They married in Wellington, and then they went to Australia as my Father had been offered a scholarship to do a PhD. My Mother had to learn Iban, cook over an open fire & live the Iban way of life.
My PhD looked at how identity changes when space and location changes, based on Iban women. I am hyper aware of race, gender & migration with post-colonial contexts, both personal and national identities. Understanding multiple identities is a constant interrogation of mine. I firmly believe that we can exist in multiple worlds at the same time. I find the idea of being ‘caught in the middle’ that is a mixed narrative, is negative, and I want to empower the idea of having multiple identities. I think we can hold multiple identities in our hands, at the same time. I’ve learnt that I don’t have to compromise who I am for others. Growing up I tried to make my identity as easy as possible for people to understand. I don’t need to do that; they can learn about me.
I’m lucky that I work within a very progressive side of journalism and media! Mainstream media has no interest in offering me a place, it would take a little bit of work to find a way for my voice to be relevant to their perceived audience. But the places I do write for, they are happy to just accept my voice and thoughts as they are & are happy to work a little harder (first time around) to get it right. I’m aware of the fact that I’m ambiguous. I get to pass through space because I can’t be labelled easily. In the global north, I am exotic enough to be interesting, but White enough to be non-threatening. My position in Sarawak has meant that I get entrusted with information, for my research. To tell the world, as the farmers I have worked with understand that I can tell their stories to audiences they don’t have access to.
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