Indonesian | Dutch
I still feel as I have to prove my Indo-background, and that my Mother, with a darker complexion, is really my Mother. So, it’s pretty hard to really identify as partly Asian, even though I’m at least 40% Indonesian/Javanese. There are more cases of people like me of course, but I don’t see them being represented as much as could.
Because I look White, and I’m not being recognised by other Indos of being of the same background as they are. What helped me is to find my own way. So, I’ve spent days on end with my Grandparents and I really tried to be a sponge and sip as many stories about their time in Indonesia as possible. I’ve visited the country multiple times, and also visited my Indonesian second cousins in Bandung, I’ve studied the history as a historian, read books on Indonesia, saw movies et cetera. I’m really preparing myself for the time that my Grandparents are not alive anymore, so I’m trying that they really become engrained in me, on a metaphysical level almost. The thing with this Indo identity is that it’s based in a former colonial society that does not exist anymore and that means that this community will die out: next generations will disappear in the general population. So, this identity really had to become a part of myself to prevent it from disappearing. I would advise others to try to study the background of your family meticulously, delve into the archives, the cuisine, the language. Try to be a sponge, enjoy!
Incorporating both cultures was a big topic in my upbringing! We would all have conversations about the differences between Dutch and Indo-people all the time. Indos are very much more welcoming in inviting visitors in their homes and offer all kinds of food than Dutch people are. I also grew up in this tight knit Indo family where caring for each other and your (Grand)parents was and is really important, much more so than in Dutch families. Anyway, not only did my parents have different ethnic background, they also were from very different socio-economic backgrounds. My Father has enjoyed higher education, whereas my Mother has not. My parents would always remind me that a level of education and cultural background should never be any barrier for human contact and a romantic relationship. This was really the moral foundation of our family.
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