Japanese | Filipino

Photo credit: provided by subject

I identify as Japanese-Filipino American, Christian and straight male. My parents met through the same job in work related calls. My Dad lived in Los Angeles at the time and my Mother lived in San Francisco. My Father moved up to San Francisco to live with my Mother. The Native Japanese and Filipinos always had feuds due to the past where the Philippines were once controlled by Japan. My Japanese Grandmother had a difficult time accepting my Filipina Mother. My Filipina Grandmother also showed slight ignorance and hostility towards my Japanese Father. But after time they accepted one another. 

My Father had a difficult time finding Filipino food that he likes to eat. On the other hand, my Mom loves Japanese food. So my Mother helps to ease any tension by enjoying and embracing both Japanese and Filipino culture. Unfortunately, my native Grandparents never really passed on the languages to my parents. At the time, my Grandparents believed that in America you should only speak English to be seen as less as a foreigner. But my family does try to influence me in trying to look for an Asian partner. 

As a child I was embarrassed about my ethnicity. But as I grew older, I’ve learned to embrace it and be proud of who I am. Interracial relationships are complex culturally but are very beautiful because if the uniqueness and diversity. Love comes in all shapes, sizes and forms. There isn’t much of a Japanese community where I live. But there is more of a Filipino community. The Filipinos that I grew up with and met in my life sometimes don’t think I’m Filipino at first. And once I tell them that I’m half Filipino they usually act surprised. 

The Filipinos do their best to accept my Japanese side but sometimes they try a little too hard. When I tell them I’m also half Japanese, they would sometimes say any Japanese word that they know (usually Konnichiwa ‘hello’), clap their hands together and bow in front of me. I felt like I grew up in a very American influenced household so when this situation arises, I do my best to make it less awkward.

I have never visited Japan or the Philippines. But I have taken a DNA test (23andMe) to see if I can learn more about my heritages. It turns out that the test results say that my Japanese side comes mostly from strong Okinawan ancestry. But my Father has a difficult time believing that and wants to stay believing he’s purely Japanese. 

Growing up my connection to my identity has changed very much. I now embrace more of my mixed heritage.

If I had the opportunity to be reborn, I’d like the same life as the one I have now. Always be proud of who you are, be proud of being mixed and unique.