German | Nigerian
The interesting thing is that whenever someone who is mixed Black and White, they are just labelled as Black. People deciding your race for you. People will look at us and categorise us as one race or another, dependent on how strong specific genes manifest themselves in our appearance. They will feel entitled to label us accordingly and feel completely validated in arguing that stance. Why they feel they have the right to do so, I have no idea. But here we are. In some cases, we may even welcome this approach, since we just want to feel accepted by a dominant racial group. Even if our appearance completely reflects one race, we know somewhere in the back of our minds that we’re neglecting part of our heritage and that chips away at our souls. However, with the growth of mixed-race communities online and in person, this is the age of embracing the mixed-race experience. My identity is valid on its own and I love that.
Unfortunately my parents separated when I was 13, so my memories of our time as a family unit have faded as I approach my 30s. Mum grew up in Germany and Dad had moved there for a better life than in Nigeria. My Dad had a Christian upbringing, so when he moved to Germany he came to the Church and there he met my Mum. I am also a Christian; a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My identity as a member meant that I wanted to find a partner who shares my values and faith. I actually met my wife through church too at a social event through a mutual friend. She is British born Filipina, so has strong cultural ties there.
I grew up in South East London and my closest friends were Chinese and Vietnamese. I think that ended up having more of an influence on me. I became a Chameleon, fitting into whichever part of my heritage I needed to reflect the people I was around. I think depending on the culture you come from, it will affect your experience differently. In the early years of adolescence, we want nothing more than to fit in, to find our tribe.
Want to read more? Subscribe here #mixedracefaces